Oklahoma Wins HitHimAgain Lamest License Plate Award
Here is Oklahoma’s latest addition to its specialty plate offerings:
Let me explain how this plate earned our coveted Lamest License Plate Award.
1. Desert-Camo
I remember before the first gulf war that there were news stories circulating constantly about how much time and money was spent re-painting our tanks to go to Iraq. Apparently, so much political capital was expended in the early nineties to re-paint the military that we no longer consider sending troops to non-desert climates because it would clash with the uniforms. The license plate hammers this home - a GLOBAL war on terror will be fought in desert climates only. It’s worth pointing out that Oklahoma has been seriously affected by terrorism too, and the culprit was not from the desert. Remember when the army used to be painted in forest camo and we would only fight wars in jungles and wooded areas?
A modest proposal: let’s go to war in Antarctica and paint everything white and spend the next fifty years only fighting on snow-and-ice-covered terrain.
2. The World Trade Center
It’s Oklahoma. How about this building instead:
You know, on second thought, they probably wouldn’t put that on the license plate because the image would invoke far too much emotion for the residents of Oklahoma, and people would probably resent its being used to promote never-ending foreign interventionism in the form of wars against an inextinguishabe concept. Well, the same should go for the WTC towers.
3. 9/11 Ribbon and Bald Eagle
A 555-mile, 5-hour plane trip was flown at two speeds. For the first part of the trip, the average speed was 105 mph. Then the tailwind picked up, and the remainder of the trip was flown at an average speed of 115 mph. For how long did the plane fly at each speed? Answer: September 11th.
We’re all patriotic because we live in America and our proud of our country, but does patriotism justify a war on terror in its current form? I say we just kill terrorists. You can do that without having a “war.”
Consider this exchange at the latest GOP debate:
Ron Paul: I of course opposed the war a long time before it started, the neo-conservatives promoted this war many many years before it was started. It had nothing to to with Al Qaeda, there was no Al Qaeda in Iraq. There were no weapons of mass destruction - just think of the weapons the Soviets had in the 60s and the 70s, and we did not have to go to nuclear war with them. There’s no reason to go to war against these third-world nations. At the same time those individuals who have predicted these disastrous things to happen if we leave Iraq are the same ones who said as soon as we go in it will just be duck soup and it’ll be over in three months, and it won’t cost us anything because the oil will pay for it.
(Interrupting) Mitt Romney: Has he forgotten about 9/11?
Ron Paul: At the same time . . . And at the same time . . .
(Interrupting) Mitt Romney: Have you forgotten about 9 . . .
Ron Paul: Just - just a moment! At the same time, the individuals that predicted the disaster, of course, the domino theory in Vietnam - I was called to duty, I accepted that duty in the 60s. I served 5 years in the military. When we left there, it was tough, yes. But now we trade with Vietnam, we talk to them, the president comes to this country, we go back and forth, we invest in that country. We can achieve much more in peace than we can ever achieve in these needless unconstitutional, undeclared wars.
(Applause)
In conclusion, here is an alternate license plate proposed by Calcasieu over on Fark when asked to photoshop some more patriotism into it:
(No Ratings Yet)
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