Look Out, Iran Has a Jet-Propelled Fighting Aeroplane!
The latest news coming out of Iran is that they have developed their very own jet fighter. I think if we’re going to Gulf-of-Tonkin ourselves into a war with Iran, we ought to know what we’re getting ourselves into.
OK, OK, so the picture above doesn’t accurately depict their new design. This is what it actually looks like:
The Iranians modeled it after the American F-5 Freedom Fighter - ostensibly because we infidels make excellent planes. And these planes WERE pretty cool . . . when we were flying them around in the 60s.
The “Azarakhsh” fighter comes fully equipped with modular duct-taped AK-47s, carriage-mounted improvised explosive devices, and trebuchet-assisted vertical takeoff. The question now becomes, do we even have a jet that is backwards compatible enough to defeat the Iranians? The F-22 is too fast and too powerful to intercept a winged sardine can moving at the speed of smell.
At least everyone can appreciate the reminder that Iran is more than 50 years behind modern military technology. This isn’t the spin you’ll hear coming from Iranian state-run media though.
“The success of this domestically developed fighter plane is another example of the technological achievements of our country,” said Isfahan governor Morteza Bakhtiari, according to the state-run IRNA news agency. [cite]
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