Bridges: Society’s Menace
There are deadly killers in our midst. You pass by them on the way to school and on the way to work. They eye down at you when you’re driving on the highway. As they mature, the blood lust that brews inside of them boils over. All countrymen take heed and beware the murderous Bridge.
Bridges consist of a large group of support structures that are capable of rapid movement, such as draw-bridges, cable-stayed suspension bridges, bascule bridges, and the rapaciously vile Truss Bridge. All species tend to make their homes high above ravines, valleys, major roadways, and inland waterways. The most deadly of the Bridges coexist symbiotically with the Fear Monger - an accursed breed of media elite that should also be avoided.
The mechanism by which the Bridge traps its prey involves a complex interaction between elasticity, tensile stress, compression, shear, flex, and pressure.
While static, in the Bridge’s “untripped” state, the Bridge rigidly extends itself prone, but in the “closed” state, the Bridge lies segmented and disorganized. It is the rapid flipping of this bistable state that completes the trap, but the mechanism by which this occurs is still poorly understood. When certain stress factors are stimulated, an action potential is generated, which propagates across the trusses and other support components and stimulates kinetic energy in the Bridge elements and in the midribs between them. Exactly what this stimulation does is still debated.
The mysterious effectiveness of the Bridge’s subversion is enhanced by its choice of habitat. Humans can find themselves falling long distances only to be trapped underwater or else pummeled within their own metallic exoskeletons.
The National Transportation Safety Board, the federal agency dedicated to monitoring these deadly beasts, has recently stated that over 70,000 Bridges have reached full maturity and are potential threats to us humans. Verily, the Russians are instructing these Bridges via Ultra-Low-Frequency communications to specifically attack freedom-loving Americans. Fortunately, we have evolved natural defenses to the Bridge’s attack, including seat-belts and escaping-sinking-car skills. Even so, the only sure-fire way to avoid death at the hands of a Bridge is to trap and kill it while it lies in wait.
Avast, ye Bridges!
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