Not So Fast, Monopolistic Legal System
Here’s a good law review article on the “missing,” aka. “not ratified” thirteenth amendment. The proposed thirteenth amendment would have read:
“If any citizen of the United States shall accept, claim, receive or retain any title of nobility or honour, or shall, without the consent of Congress, accept and retain any present, pension, office or emolument of any kind whatever, from any emperor, king, prince or foreign power, such person shall cease to be a citizen of the United States, and shall be incapable of holding any office of trust or profit under them, or either of them.”
This may have been intended to prevent people holding titles of “esquire” from being citizens, thereby disenfranchising dastardly lawyers. If this were the intent, even in part, they probably had the right idea.
Let me preface with a hypothetical.
Imagine for a moment that you live in a world where you are not allowed, under threat of imprisonment, to do somebody’s laundry for them - you may ONLY do your own. You can’t even do your spouse’s laundry or child’s laundry - you have to have them dry cleaned at a professionally licensed dry-cleaner. This generates such a demand on dry cleaners that they get away with premium rates for their services. Being no dope, you decide that cleaning people’s laundry is a pretty solid career based on how much money is involved - you’re not even particularly passionate about cleaning clothes or seeing to it that clothes are washed well.
You resolve to become a dry cleaner. Nevertheless, the only way to do somebody else’s laundry - even if you’re excellent at washing your own laundry - is to get a license to do so. The only place to get a license is from the privately-run State Laundry Board. The State Laundry Board consists of people who run or are employed by dry cleaners. They are self-regulating and self-policing. They can decide who gets a license and who does not. The State Laundry Board decides that in order to get a license you must do the following things:
- Get a college degree (this will cost you thousands and 4 years of your life)
- Go to a State Laundry Board accredited university and study laundry for three years, again at your expense.
- Expose your private life to the Board, including reasons for divorce, your credit history, past indiscretions, any lawsuits you’ve ever filed, etc. etc. ad infinitum. If the Board makes the determination that you are unfit to be trusted with other people’s clothes, you will not get a license.
- Pass a State Laundry Board test. The test consists of two-or-more days worth of questions, and you must pay a fee to take the test in excess of $500. Study for the test will almost certainly require study aids in excess of $2500. You have a 35-50% chance of failing, at which point you must repay and retake. You will also be failed if you divulge any of the questions after the exam, bring a cellphone to the exam, have a watch that beeps, or fail to wear a suit and tie - though you must wear sneakers, or other soft-soled shoes.
- Upon passage, you must continue to take State Laundry Board approved courses at regular intervals into perpetuity and at your expense, or you lose your license.
Only after this may you do somebody else’s laundry.
Obviously, you would be offended at such a system because: it favors the rich, it restricts your right to earn a livelihood how you see fit, it is a government-created monopoly exercising its power to restrict supply to disgorge profits, and it’s tedious and humiliating.
This is the legal system in the United States.
The result can best be summed up by a pretty amazing video of Vegas lawyer, Joe Caramagno, causing a mistrial after showing up to court drunk. He lies to the judge, who catches him in the act, and eventually winds down with him being ordered to blow into a breathalyser in open court. This was in a trial where his client faced life in prison - and yes, he’s still practicing.
When did we give up on the idea that markets work?
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